trailblazer191's Blog

   In the last year, I feel as though I ve changed immensely. Part of this, surely, is growing up, as it was my last year of high school and also the fact that I moved. But the extent of this change is quite big. My change in sexual orientation from straight to asexual is not simply about not being sexually attracted to anyone; its been a change in PERSONALITY and thus in lifestyle

  Since I've been (or realized that I am...) asexual, I cant help but feel like Im missing out.

I am starting to think that sexuality determines more than just sexual urges or relationships..I m noticing how much less thrilling my life feels without feeling and a couple of things:

 - The western world we live in is an oversexed place ; and its difficult to feel like you fit in or connected to everything when inside you feel isolated and no one understands you since you dont have the same natural behaviour as what occupies most people

- Sex drive may be the fuel for a lot of things seemingly unrelated to sex, that we are not even aware of; its so deeply instilled in us. It may be responsible for your yearning for risk, spontaneity and feeling wild (even if not particularly sexual).    This is my case at least, and I cant help but notice how much less of a joyride my life is now, lacking excitement that I wish I wanted, but dont seek instinctively.

Not only in the act of having sex itself but in human relations and most importantly (for me) in the fuel that once was a big component in my personality as being ''wild'',

I feel like Im really missing out :/. And the worst part is... your sensation and feeling, is difficult to change as it is out of your hands.... :-S